Home > Uncategorized > My Chuck Ts Aren’t Done Yet. 

My Chuck Ts Aren’t Done Yet. 

Today is the day! It’s been over six months ago in which I announced my candidacy to New Mexico House District 35. It has been an experience, one that I can only try to describe in words.

Like the tight knot on my throat every time I walked up to a strangers door, worried that they would just slam it back in my face, and never did. I arrived as a stranger and left as a neighbor.

My heart pounding and racing a gazillion seconds a minute, at every forum or public event, spaces where Chicana women like me are rarely present, much less invited.

The constant aches and uncomfortable pains on my body, from working all day to pay the bills, to managing some self preservation by going to the gym and walking my dog, Lennon–all this before hitting at least 40 doors on a weeknight.

(I know dad, it wasn’t like working on the farm–but we’ll talk more later)

The intense sadness I would experience on weekends, when family and friends planned gatherings and I had to opt out to hit the doors.

Although these feelings were constant–they were real. And that was special.

I have lived most of my life living in my head. Telling myself that I have to know everything in order to be in these spaces. To be taken seriously.
But what this experience has done for me is allow me to feel. To feel joy and angst for stories from countless constituents who only want what’s best for themselves and their families–and crave human contact from such a disconnected community.

I experienced curiosity, something I’ve always known as a critical component to organizing, and yet this practice became more clear, especially when I listened to grown men nearly cry, sharing their stories of incarceration and a system that denies them reform.
I felt love from friends, family and supporters, who spent countless free hours to walk and talk to voters on my behalf–a feeling I always felt but never quite this deep.

Yes, this campaign began as a quest to win a seat in the New Mexico Legislature. A goal that I could tangibly reach if I met certain outcomes and deliverables. Heady thinking suggests that I did that–and if my math is correct, I will win my race tonight.

However, the biggest takeaway cannot be quantified. It cannot be counted. It can only be felt–and boy, did I feel. This race isn’t about me. This is about a community and the kind of community we want to live in.

I want to live in a community where all the stories I heard at the door have a fighting chance. And there is a fighting chance.

That’s my hope for today.

And tomorrow.

And the day after that.

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